(no subject)

- So why are you going then?
- Miri is making me go.
- Listen to him! Why are you always bending over backwards for that girl, knowing she ain't givin' up no ass?
- I got a good thing going here. She pays half the rent, she does the dishes, she wakes me up in the morning...Why complicate that with sex? Besides man, I have known her since first grade, you don't fuck somebody you've known since the first grade...
- Excuse me! I have met my wife in kindergarten, we got married senior year and she's been the queen of my world ever since!
- And if you could do it all over again?
- I'd jerk off and live by myself...that woman is the bane of my existence...