Funny stuff

The poem is constructed entirely from Bushisms and his speech messups.

The article shows the details as to where each part of the poem came from.

Make the Pie Higher!
George W. Bush

I think we all agree, the past is over.
This is still a dangerous world.
It's a world of madmen and uncertainty
and potential mental losses.

Rarely is the question asked
Is our children learning?
Will the highways of the Internet become more few?
How many hands have I shaked?

They misunderestimate me.
I am a pitbull on the pantleg of opportunity.
I know that the human being and the fish can coexist.
Families is where our nation finds hope, where our wings take dream.

Put food on your family!
Knock down the tollbooth!
Vulcanize society!
Make the pie higher! Make the pie higher!

Inside, outside - just smack her!

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/009176.html

Yuppie kid: Mommy shaves her hoo-hoo!
Yuppie dad: Okay, honey. Look, do you want your book?
Yuppie kid: I came in the bathroom this morning and asked Mommy what she was doing and she said shaving her hoo-hoo. Mommy shaves her hoo-hoo!
Yuppie dad: Dylan, remember when we discussed at-home conversations and outside conversations?
Yuppie kid: Yes.
Yuppie dad: Well, this is an at-home conversation.
Yuppie kid: Okay, daddy. [Sings to herself quietly] Mommmyyy shaves her hoo-hooo...
Black lady: See, home conversating, outside conversating -- that's bullshit. My kid says shit like that, I smack him. He won't say shit like that again.
Yuppie dad: Okay, thank you, but I think our method works just fine.
Yuppie kid: Lady, do you shave your hoo-hoo?
Black lady: Oh, yeah, that shit is workin' just fine. She's all kinds of polite.
Yuppie dad: Okay, Dylan, this is our stop.

Or maybe square root of it?

Dev A: ...we need to negate this value in the case where it's a Cancel. There's no negation function in SQL, so I figure we can just do "value - (2*value)".

Dev B: ...???...{blank look}...or we can just do "value * -1"...

Dev A: {blushing}...or that...

Annual Credit Score check

All open and closed accounts check out, no identity theft evidence.

Credit score: 793 out of 850, top 2% - preferred customer everywhere.

Not bad. Let's see if we can keep it that way.

Funny thing - as the only "negative" point they listed the fact that I opened a new credit card only recently (in August 2006) and it hasn't been 20 months yet. Apparently, newly opened cards (under 20 months) are statistically more likely to have missed payments.

What a croc of shit!

Why is my score affected by averages collected from irresponsible people who don't pay their bills?